Katrina Love Senn

 

It was a beautiful spring morning in London, in April 2007. I could see the cherry blossom in full bloom just outside the classroom window.

I was sitting at the front of a workshop attempting to face one of my biggest fears… Public Speaking.

I was doing my best not to make eye contact with Michael, the workshop facilitator.  Sensing my discomfort he made me the centre of his attention...

With the commanding tone of a Shakespearean actor he enquired “Katrina, you say you have this fear of speaking to big groups of people…"

I nodded…

"In that case can I ask you this... How many people constitute a big group?”

I felt my face flush like the cherry blossoms outside as I became overwhelmed with awkwardness and shame…

"1 or 2 people" I replied…  

A silence filled the room.  All at once I realised that I was sitting in the presence of a lifetime of unaddressed fear.  

My body went into panic mode.  My heart pounded and my lungs seized.  I could feel beads of sweat gathering at the base of my spine.

Micheal called me to the front of the room.  

When I was standing in front of him he asked me to take a moment to come back into my body…  I felt vulnerable and exposed and a wave of unwept tears released from the core of my being…

When I had regained my composure, he then asked me to turn around and face my fellow workshop attendees…

He specifically requested that I not say anything.  All he wanted me to do was to really see the people in the room.

I let my tear soaked eyes wander to those assembled.  I took a couple of moments to look into the eyes of each person present.  When I had made a silent connection with each of the 20 people sitting in the room he asked me 'So what do you see?'

I replied "I see a beautiful group of people who are probably just as scared of speaking their truth as I am."

Micheal nodded approvingly and asked me to take my seat again…
I recognised that my fear had dissolved completely in the instant that I had opened my heart and allowed myself to truly see other people.  I had forgotten all about myself and my own insecurities the very moment I focused my attention upon others.

It was a powerful teaching that I will always remember...

Michael helped me to open a doorway into a whole new world.  Soon after this experience I found the confidence to start teaching yoga professionally and it wasn't long before I was facilitating workshops of my own.

Having the confidence to stand up and speak my truth has brought me many incredible blessings over the years.  In this experience, I realised that my biggest fears were the doorway to living my dreams...

And, now I'd love to hear from you. In the section below, please do share a fear that you are currently working on overcoming or a time that you overcame one of your fears.

I look forward to reading your experiences below...

With so much Love,

From my heart to yours,

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Katrina Love Senn xo

 

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